No Money, No Problem...?

I know the title of this blog, is sort of, well, greedy sounding, but I don't consider myself greedy, just broke.

My "kid" has been absent now for a total of 14 days.

Simply put, I'm broke. I will not be getting a paycheck for the last 2 weeks in February, as my child has not shown up for class. You'd think that because I go to school every morning, assuming that he has gone to school, because his parents have not called me, that I would get paid for the hour and a half bus ride it takes me to get there and back, but I don't.

I don't get a phone call from his parents, I don't get a phone call from the school, I don't get a paycheck.

All I get is a wasted morning. I could have been taking Substitute cases with other clients at other schools, during the 2 weeks that he has been gone, but instead I've wasted my time.

So, today I took a one-time only substitute position at a school in Pearl City, just assuming that my kid wouldn't show up, because if he did, I would have "double-booked" myself. I took the gamble, and I won.

I got on the bus at 5:30 am, made the hour and a half commute to Pearl Ridge, just in time to greet the bus of the client. The normal S.T. (skills trainer) told me that he was "low-functioning" and autistic.

I met the bus, asked someone which kid was mine, and walked him to class. This was one of the most difficult days with a child I have ever had. He didn't talk, he didn't want to sit down -ever, he screamed, hit me, bit me, kicked me, threw any object he could get his hands on at anyone nearby, and he threw one tantrum after the other, all day long.

I felt incapable, inadequet, under-trained, and confused.

The S.T. had left nothing for me to go by. No notes of what they were working on, no clue what the ajenda was. I had no clue of what the activities were for the day, and what times he had to be to recess, speech, lunch, library, etc.

If any of you know anything about children with autism, you know that most hate change. Any small disruption in their day to day activities, is like the end of the world to them, and there is hardly any ways to help them see that it is okay. This was the case today.

There was a certain way, a certain routine, that this child followed every day. As I later learned-Pull a task from the first basket, complete it (took him 5-8 min. to complete one task), pull task from second basket, and complete it, pull task from 3rd basket, complete it (which now has only been roughly 15 min out of the day). Once he is done with all 3 tasks from each basket, he wants a reward. Apparently this usually is time on the Computer to play a game of some sort, but the computer was not working--great just my luck. So I thought of the rewards that I give my student, such as, pass the ball back and forth for 5 min, do a puzzle, spin a top, get a sticker--small rewards go a long ways with kids with autism. None of these things interested this child. I looked around the room and offered, board games, flash cares, legos, building blocks, nothing worked. I asked him what his "most favorite thing to play with was", no response. "What's your favorte toy?" Still no reponse. "What do you like to play with your brothers?" Absolute silence, with head hanging low, and back turned. I just sat there. How am I going to get this child to work, If he has nothing to work for?

I know that he can talk, because he says "No" --a lot. He says "I want to play computer!!!!", "No More!!" and "Put Away!!" but he also sings a color song, and itsy-bitsy spider. He is smart. Just stubborn. I know he understands what I'm say and what I am asking of him, but for some reason, he won't give.

A few tantrums later, and a few minutes spent in time out, he is now counting for me. "...9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, NO MORE!!!" I got 17 #'s out of him, and then suddenly with no warning, no change in his voice or rhythm, he screams and throws the number cards at me. Honestly, this is still only the morning and I have until 2 pm with him. I'm thinking "why did I say yes to substituting?" Ah, sure enough it was money. I need some sort of income, and $20 an hour, isn't too shabby for a days work. But this was such a challenge. (If I am ever sick and can't make it to my normal class with my client, I envy the person who is substituting and earning $20 an hour playiing with the easiest, sweetest, child ever.)

We go to recess, have a snack, listen to a story, sing some songs, and then back to work. By work I mean, I'm working my hardest to get this child to listen to me, count for me, trace a few letters, and call it a day. I want a nap.

By noon, he is working for me. He is tracing letters, numbers, and shapes, and is identifying colors. He is getting exhausted, but he is trying his hardest. I am pleased.

After lunch we watch my all time favorite childrens show--Seaseme Street. T.V. is obviously a reward at home, as he is totally excited to watch this. He finally likes me and wants to sit on my lap to snuggle and watch the show, as he starts to curl in my lap, the "head" teacher of the class screams at him "NO, YOU NEED TO SIT ON YOUR OWN! JEREMIAH, NO!" I am wondering why this is, as it is important to form a bond with your child. This type of interaction is great for helping them feel secure and safe around you, as well as it gives you a form of superiority. He feels you are the "mom" type, and most times after such things, he is better behaved, attentive, and responsive. Although you have to pick and choose your moments, because too many of these cuddly interatctions can lead you to "friend or peer" status, which crosses the line in respect, and makes him think that you are not an authoritative figure and he doesn't have to listen to you. In this case, I felt since it was still early in the day, and we had lots of work to do, that it was appropriate to allow some "light" affection with my client. Apparently the teacher thought otherwise. He whined when I pushed him off of me and told him to sit next to me. He got quite upset with me and began to cry as he screamed in short breaths "NO, NO, NO!!" I stearnly looked at him, and with a calm, but assertive voice I said "Jeremiah, you need to sit up nicely next to me and watch the show." He gave me a look like "Lady, I ain't listening to you. I want to stay here." Just as I was about to go over this again with him, all the while thinking in my head "What is the deal? Do we really need to "go" here with him?" The teacher got out of her seat, walked over, grabbed his arm, gritted her teeth and said "Stand up! Come, on--Stand up! Let's Go, I'll count to 3 or you can go and sit in time-out!" He sat there, motionless, not watching the t.v., looking at the floor as if was gazing into another world. She picked him up, ploped him in the time out chair, and he put his head down.
When he was ready to sit "nicely" on the floor, he walked over and sat next to me. By this time, Ernie had sang a song that annoyed Bert, Elmo and his fish Dorothy had visited Big Bird, and we had now moved on to the letter "D". He leaned onto my arm as we learned that Dog, Day, Dinosaur, Dance, Draw, Drum, Daddy, and a bunch of other words, all started with the letter "D".

It was now time to work again. I got him to do flash cards with me. We identified different types of clothing, household itmes, vehicles, and other objects. He did great, although he was getting frustrated. Time for Library. We go with the neighboring Kindergarten class, and sit in a row in the back of the group. We listended to 2 books about a pigeon and then were let loose to find a book to check out. This was tough. He had no concept of what books he could and coulnd't read, how to check the book out, or even what kinds of books he was interested in. I pulled out "Are you my mommy?" I'm sure some of you remember this book. I hope when they read it to him next week, that they won't be dissapointed.

Time to go home. Yeah!! No offense to anyone, but this was one of the worst days of work I have ever had. I have dealt with upset, irate, unsatisfied, asshole customers while working retail, but between the child and the teacher--my mind is fried, my body aches from being bit, kicked, and poked. I didn't eat breakfast, lunch, and I brought nothing for a snack. I am so ready to go home, considering I've been up since 4:30 am just so I could get here in time.

I walk 9 blocks to get to Kam Hwy to catch my bus home. I stand at the bus stop for 20 min, get on the bus and stand in the aisle holding a pole, while thinking of nothing in particular. I can't even finish a thought, or keep my eyes open. This chick is tired, and exhausted. i reach Wahiawa, get off the bus, and wait for my next bus. After 35 min. my bus finally arrives, and once again I stand motionless, like a part of the bus, just standing there, with my bag under one arm, and my hand firmly gripping the metal pole. I jolt forward when we stop, and backwards when we take off. My body is stiff, but I don't stumble.

I reach my driveway, walk up to the house, kick off my shoes, go inside and throw my stuff down. I am already thinking of bed, even though it is only 4pm. Next you would think I would take a nap, eat some food, or switch on the "non-existant" t.v. and relax. But not this girl. She is broke. I go to my room, change into a pair of shorts and a tank top, throw my hair in a pony-tail, grab my headphones, and sunglasses and walk out the door. I throw on my slippers (flipflops), hop on my beach cruiser (old crappy bike), and ride it 4 miles down the road to my friends house. What for you ask? Well, this friend of mine has a wonderful mother who has hired me for today, to clean her house, so that I can make some extra money. I arrive at 4:30, park my bike, head inside and spend the next 4 hours, sweeping, moping, dusting, vacuuming, washing dishes, cleaning 2 tubs, 2 toilets, 4 sinks, and lots and lots of mirros. I didn't stop to pee, drink, eat, rest, or think. I was in "power-cleaning" mode. It's tough cleaning for someone you know. You want to make sure it is done to their standards, and let me tell you, the standards here are more than perfection. I haul ass, clean the best that I can, decide that 4:30 to 8pm is long enough for me, hop on my beach cruiser, and head home.

Ah, home sweet home. Not really. It is full of 4 guys, thier shit, thier B.O, thier dishes, magazines, wrappers, shoes, newspapers, hats, sunglasses, and worst of all--the shavings of thier grown-out facial hair that was recently cut, and never picked up.---EEW!!

Why do I work like that you ask? Well, the money.
Why do I do all of this? Well, this is paradise ...................right?


As recently quoted by my mother, "Amy, Life is Expensive." This I already knew, considering I've lived out of the house since 18, but this is more than that I think.

I have taken a chance, a gamble, if you will. To live on my own in an unknown "land". To fill my heart with knowledge of people, cultures, experiences, new faces, and an idea of freedom. This is my chance to fullfill a feeling that has been a part of me since as long as I can remember--a travel bug. I am a Nomad a wanderer at heart. My feet will follow where my heart takes me, money or no money, friends or no friends. This is me and this is what I want to do. I want to travel the lands, learn some new ideas, and experience some new culures.

I am the girl who loves suprises, who thinks that other peoples laughter is contagious. I like that tingly feeling in your nose, right before you sneeze. I am a sucker for humor, and humerous cuz i'm a sucker. I will dance when there is no music playing, smile at every person that I pass, and belch with the boys. I trust too easily, gossip regularily, and wear my heart on my sleeve. I prefer to live in my imagination, but am quite aware of reality. My decisions are first guided with my heart, and then logic, I am blunt and tell you "too much information" on a regular basis. I get bored easily with repetitiveness, but am a loyal and stable friend to rely on. I am an entertainer--I love to make people laugh and I love to "host" gatherings. I am strawberry blonde. I definatly have my fathers indecisiveness, philosophy, and travel bug, and my mothers STRENGTH, companionship, loyalty, and attitude. I am in fact, my parents daughter.

Right now, my life is a risk. I have risked it all to live here, sacraficed. I am willing to keep going. To keep sacraficing. Things may be shakey but my heart and soul will not tremble.

In need of a good laugh....

I am in such a need for a good laugh. A joke, a quote, a story, anything!! This past 10 days or so, has been the most stressfull, uneventful, time that I have ever had, here or in MN. Sometimes you just need to forget everything and pretend you don't have issues and problems to take care of. Sometimes you need your friends more than ever...

So, five days of a swollen hand and severe pain, I think that I can now say good-ridance to the centipede. Unfortunatly I experienced some side-effects from the sting. I was "quarantined" to the "sick-ward", meaning my roomates locked me in my room, for the past three days due to the fact that I had a fever, hot and cold sweats, migranes, body aches, muscle pain, chest pains, and nausea. I hadn't left my bedroom except for a glass of water, and today was the first day since friday that I had eaten anything. I am now showered, and pain free (except for a sore back from laying in bed for 3 days--and for those of you from Slumberland, it's a foam mattress, no coils or springs and it's like 4 inches thick--pretty much it sucks). Other than that, I am free from the the devil insect. Never again do I wish to think about, hear, or see another centipede.

Just Another Day in the Life of Amy Lubbesmeyer...

So, I defied death again.

I wake up this morning in quite a good mood, get dressed, hop in the car with Caleb and I am off to work. I'm a little anxious to get to work to see if my kid actually showed up this morning, as he has missed 6 days of school so far, and I actually need a paycheck. So, Caleb drops me off at the school and I walk to my classroom. Just as I enter through the door, the teacher goes "didn't they get a hold of you?" Right then I knew, Kaieme did not show up for school again today. No worries, I guess I'll just go home and sit on the beach. Only problem is that I have to wait for 45 min to catch my first bus, and then a half an hour for the second bus, so it takes me an hour and a half to get 15 miles--bummer.

I decide that I'm going to walk to Caleb's work which is across the road from the school, bat my eyes, use some of my Lubbesmeyer charm, and throw in a cute little smile, to see if he will let me take his car to drive home, and I will come back to pick him up at 5. I make my way accross the road, through the fence and creep around old broken buildings, until I find the warehouse that he works in. I stick my head in around the huge open garage door, and everyone in there stops what they are doing and looks up at me. He works in a wood shop, so all the machines are running, but everyone is just staring. It was kinda creepy. So I step in and glance around the room. Ah, there he is. He catches eyes with me, puts down his massive piece of wood, and walks over. I give him a smile, and he smiles back (this is when I knew that I didn't need any charm, just my captivating smile--hehehe). Right away he knew what I was there for. He reaches in his pocket, pulls out his keys, gives me a kiss on the cheek. I turn and walk away as he gives me a swift kick in the ass and tells me to pick him up at 5. I turn and nod, there is no way he can hear me over those machines.

Ah, back home. So, I decide to drive down to Pipeline to watch the contest that is going off and my friend Andrew accompanies me. We watch for about an hour and I decide that I want to go running. We drive home, I strap on my running shoes and venture onto the path in 80 degree heat at noon o'clock, with a sore ankle. Dumb Ass. I make it to pipe and back, which is 2 miles, so "yeah" for me, but I'm exhausted. I feel so dehydrated that I feel like vomiting. What I need is a long, cold, shower. So, I get into the shower and I don't feel like ever getting out but after a half an hour, I realize that I'm wasting a lot of a water, and I should probably get out and get dressed. I am in a great mood today, and actually feel like "getting ready". For what you ask?-- well nothing. But all I do is lounge around in my swimsuit and a skirt. I never wear makeup or do my hair, and I have decided that today is the day. I go to my room from the bathroom, yes in a towel. I open my closet door to pick out a shirt. I decide what shirt to wear, and I find it in a heap on top of the luggage that sits in my closet. I reach for it, grab it ........and scream at the top of my lungs!!! I let go of the shirt but somehow it was still connected to me. I looked down as I shrieked in pain. My left middle finger was entangled in a HUGE centipede!! It had wrapped it's body around my finger, stung me, and wouldn't let go of me or the shirt. I shook my hand back forth, but he wouldn't let go. I started to swing my arm around as hard as I could and finally it let loose. I was in shock. It hurt so bad!! I screamed so loud, my friend Andrew was in the living room and yelled back to find out what happened. I ran out my door and took a few steps into the hallway to go and get Andrew. Then I realize that I was butt naked and ran back to my room. By this tiime, Andrew had gotten worried why I was shrieking and ran into the hallway. I threw on a towel and came out into the hallway. I showed him my hand, but didn't say a word. I couldn't. The pain was so unbearable I couldn't speak. I went into the kitchen and burst out yet another shriek of pain. I told him I got stung by a centipede in my bedroom, and I didn't know what to do. I told him to call Sheila, who is Calebs mom. She lives 2 miles down the road, and she takes care of us kids when we need her. She had recently been biten by one on the foot, so I figured she would know what to do. I called her but didn't get a hold of her. A half an hour later, she calls back and says she is on her way over. When she got there she had brought me, Benedryll, Tylenol 3, and Vinegar. She said I needed to soak my hand in vinager to take away the sting. By this time my hand had swelled 3 times the size of the other one. My fingers were spread as far apart as they could go, but they were so swollen they were still touching. I had to break my ring, to get it off. The top of my hand was so large that I didn't have any knuckles, and my wrist was the same size of my hand. To put the pain into perspective for you, I'll list a few painful things that I have gone through that this was worse than, that some of you might relate to--it was worse than dislocating my knee cap, spraining my ankle, breaking my little toe, getting my nipple pierced (sorry grandpa if your reading this), having the ring get torn out (once again sorry to any family members), breaking 2 of my fingers in the hinge side of a door, having Kidney Infection, or getting my big toe caught on some reef and tearing the nail off. I hope that helps you understand the pain that I was in. I would rather go through any of those things again, before I got bit by another centipede.

I soaked my hand for half an hour in the vinegar, then put it in a bucket of ice and water for an hour. During this entire time the bastard centipede was still in my room somewhere. We had shut my bedroom door and put a towel under it, so it couldn't get out, but every time Andrew went to look for it, he couldn't find it.

We formed a hunting party. We waited until I picked Caleb up, and until Adam, Jeff, and Jeremey got off of work. We had a "briefing" in the living room, as to what our stratagy was going to be. We then all picked up any blunt object we could find. In the mix was a broom, a frying pan, a wrench, a flashlight, and a hammer. I held the video camera. We made our way into my room, and tore through the entire thing. Every inch of my room was ransacked. The boys gave up. But there was no way that I was sleeping in that room until I found that damn centipede. I was in there for a good 45 mins., going through each individual piece of clothing in my closet, making a pile of clothes that I had checked. I was about to give up, but decided to check the pile of clothes that Andrew had checked earlier in the day. I picked each piece up with the end of the broom stick, shook it, and through it into the hallway, which was now littered with all of my belongings. Three items left. My swimsuit top, bottom, and skirt. I lift up the skirt--nothing. Then the swimsuit top, out scurrys the centipede! It runs along the baseboards of my room as I scream. Meanwhile, the boys are in the living room watching a movie. Jeremy and Andrew jump up so fast to the sound of my screams, and try to run down the hallway at the same time, only to run into each other and knock each other on the floor. Adam is laughing at them so hard, that he can't get the strengh to get off the couch, but Caleb jumps off the couch, over Andrew and Jeremy, and comes running into my room. I told him it was hiding under the pillow that was on the floor. Caleb grabbed the broom, lifted up the pillow, and quickly pinned the centipede with the handle side of the broom. Jeremy came into the room with a pliers of somesort, clipt it's head off, but the body was still trying to run away and sting Jeremy. They wanted to smoosh him on my bedroom floor, but I told them to take it outside.

I go and get a glass of water with my club for a fist, and hear the boys yelling and laughing outside. I glance up, to see a bright light flickering outside in the driveway. I look out the door. Typical Boys---they have set the centipede on fire. And not just any fire, they have this thing blazing!! So it is lit up for 5 min or so, they are board and they walk away.

I am still affraid to sleep in my room, especially since they all keep throwing stuff at me and yelling "watch out" or they will come up behind me and tickle my leg with something. Not funny boys--really. Leave me alone!!! Sometimes I really hate being the only girl in my group of friends. Honestly, I am sick of testosterone, I need some estrogen!!


The burnt dead body of the centipede is still in the middle of my driveway.









I'll keep you updated as to when my hand is no longer a club, and when I am no longer affraid to sleep in my room.


----AMES

Me

Me
Originally uploaded by amy_lubbes.

The Finale of my Hula dance. I know this is not a "traditional" dance move, but I tried to "make it my own" hehehe

Jeff, Me, and Andrew

Jeff, Me, and Andrew
Originally uploaded by amy_lubbes.

Me

Me
Originally uploaded by amy_lubbes.

Jenny, Tobi, Billy, Jeff, and I

Jenny, Tobi, Billy, Jeff, and I
Originally uploaded by amy_lubbes.

Me

Me in my snorkling gear, just trying to entertain everyone like usual!!

Me
Originally uploaded by amy_lubbes.

Billy and I

My future Brother In-Law and I.

Yeah Tobi and Billy!!

Billy and I
Originally uploaded by amy_lubbes.

So, we hoped in our ride and headed to the beach down the road to see the sea turtles. Tobi, Billy, Jenni, and our local "tour guide" Caleb, accompany me. We arrive to the beach and park on the road, dodge the hwy traffic and make our way down to the shore. There are only a few other people down there, but they aren’t able to get close enough to the turtles. Caleb starts gathering moss off of the rocks on the shoreline and hands it out to us. He goes out waist deep in water, sticks his wad of moss under the water, and within 30 seconds, a huge sea turtle swims up just in time for the tour bus full of people that had just arrived. Caleb pulls his hand out of the water, to coax the turtle closer to shore, so others can see it. He succeeds. Finally after a million camera flashes went off--total super bowl style--he is out of food and the turtle looses interest. Everyone is anxious to see more turtles and to get the "award-winning" shot, so they all take a few steps closer to the water. There has to be at least 40 people there on the beach. Totally tourists--old fat men, with fagity white shoes, jet black socks to their mid-calf, khaki shorts, and an aloha shirt (or as people in the states call in: Hawaiian shirt), and a camera in one hand and a video around the neck. There are 30 something’s with their floppy hats, Birkenstock sandals and 3 kids that all have bleach blonde hair that all look exactly the same.
So, Caleb, my sister, Billy, Jenny, and I head back into the water with moss in our palms to feed the turtles. We walk up to our mid-thighs and stick our hands underwater. Everyone moves closer and closer to the water to get a better shot. Just as 3 huge sea turtles swim up to our legs, a huge wave comes barreling in and breaks on the shore. Every single person on the shore was soaked. Old men were wiping off their cameras as their wives were yelling at them to help them get up off the sand. Women were picking their purses full of snacks for the kids and extra film, out of the water, and I believe I saw a few shoes float by (honestly, who loses a shoe). I laughed my ass off, at all of these armatures. Hehehe

The sun was beating down on my already sun-burned shoulders, the water was turquoise and crystal clear, and the turtles were amazing. They were not shy by any means and they were so gentle. We fed the turtles for about 20 more minutes and then decided it was time to go. We walked up to the road, dodged the crazy traffic, jumped into the car, and sat silent the entire way home. Just taking it all in --MAN I LOVE PARADISE!!

So I met this guy on the bus today. He was probably 50 years old, 300 lbs, in a wheel chair (he's not disabled, he just doesn't want to walk anywhere).

He told me I looked like a rose, "and not the kind that fall apart when you pick them, the kind that lasts and lasts. The ones you would put in a vase that you would put on the table for everyone to come and see. And once they are all done looking at you, they would dry you, to keep for ever and ever."

I thought to myself, "thats a sweet thing, I guess. Wow, I made a "snap" judgement on this guy when I first entered the bus. I took one look at him, and assumed he was a typical drunk, I guess I was wrong."

I smiled and giggled.

Then he leaned in closer, burped and asked "What's your favorite kind of whisky? Mines Black Velvet. Everyone's got a favorite."

Words can be decieving.

"...I walk this empty street on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And im the only one and I walk alone.
My shadows the only one that walks beside me.
My shallow hearts the only thing that’s beating.
Sometimes I wish someone up there will find me
Till then I walk alone.."

Random Thought

Travel Style n. 1. The undying desire to see what's out there and the unique way that you do it. Always planning your next trip because the world is so big, how will you fit everything in during your lifetime? Whether your style is cramming as much sightseeing into each day as possible, spontaneously hopping on a train to a spur-of-the-moment destination, or sitting on a beach for ten days while a cute waiter serves you another Mai Tai, your travel style will take you where you want to go...and maybe never back home!

What is your travel style??

So I went to go to bed, as I am extreamly exhausted. It was a long day--at work with my client, and I had a meeting in a different town. I had a huge dinner at the neighbors, and you know how you get tired after eating a lot? And it is pouring out--hard core for like the past hour or so. Everything is flooded and the roads are washed out. So anyways. I go to get in bed, and my window was left open and everything is SOAKED!!! The window sill is full of water, the candle holders are full of water, all of my pillows, blankets, and sheets are soaked!! And to top it all off, My Bear is soaked too! oh, and my mattress.

yikes!! Guess i'm sleeping on the floor tonight.

I'm so mad!! I was in the snuggly mood tonight. you know the kind where you listen to the rain, you curl up in your blankets, and fluff your pillows so they are just right. You take a big, deep breath in, exhale and close your eyes. And you have the best dreams ever, and a perfect nights sleep--

Well, I guess I'll have to take a rain check. (hehehe)

Later--